Sun's Challenge
Difficulty having children is one of the greatest personal and marital challenges. Sun's story may be unique on the island but not unique to humankind. Too many women over the ages have struggled to become pregnant only to have it kill them. We live in a time isolated from that kind of reality.
To some degree, we expect medicine to protect us from infertility and miscarriages. Juliet is a symbol that although sometimes medicine can make a difference, we cannot place our faith in it totally. We further isolate ourselves by our silence. For instance, somewhere between 20-50% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. The vast majority of them occur before the woman is even aware that she is pregnant. Of the women who miscarry once about 20% go on to have known miscarriages again. About 5.3 million Americans are affected by infertility. That means that probably all of us know several people who have experienced miscarriages and/or infertility if we have not been affected ourselves. (Statistics drawn from allaboutlifechallenges.com and pregnancy.about.com.)
So why don't we talk about these things? Several on this blog have already opened up about their struggles. We thank them for their trust in us. Would anyone like to share their story in more detail or for the first time? What struggles did you have or watch someone close to you have? What was comforting/encouraging? What difficulties remain?
8 Comments:
Thanks to Twinkle for the awesome post!
My wife and I feel extremely blessed to have conceived on our first attempt without having to face the pain of a miscarriage. This is not to say that we were not preparing ourselves for a confrontation with that reality. We have had several friends deal with the helpless feelings of losing an unborn child. We knew that what happened to them could also happen to us. It was definitely a tense and kind of scary time waiting for that first trimester to end after which our percentages improved drastically.
We felt well prepared for possible loss because we have people in our lives who we knew we could talk to about it and several people who we knew could relate to us. Our church actually has a fantastic ministry that seeks to comfort people going through situations just like Sun's. They call it Shiloh because that is the Hebrew Word that means "a place of rest". While we were frightened by the chance of pain, knew that if anything were to happen, we would be well cared for.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there who are, for the most part, isolated from a caring community. What I think is interesting about LOST is that the characters were all generally isolated in their former lives. The crash of Flight 815 has literally forced them into community for the first time. The characters still try to hide but they are found out (and consequently cared for or challenged) much more quickly in this intense island setting.
Must just be you and me here, Admin. We have not had to undergo infertility either, but I have friends who've had trouble getting pregnant or have miscarried. Thankfully no one I'm close to has lost a full term baby. Those I've talked to describe how hard it is to not be in control. The process really reveals how small we are and how fragile life is.
I pray your baby, Admin, is born healthy and peacefully. Are you naming him after any particular lost character? ;-)
This is a sad and scary subject, to be sure. I have known two women who because of diabetes had to carry their baby, who had died in the womb, into full term. For some reason, you have to finish it out like that. At each time when each friend had told me this, I was at a complete loss for words for comfort or anything. I've known women who had miscarried, and it's not easier to comfort them, but with the other situation, it was beyond comprehension what to say that would not sound trite or simplistic. I believe that the actress Barbara Eden went through that as well. She said that people would see her pregnant and congratulate her, but she chose not to say anything about it because it was such a bizarre and sad situation to be in. I cannot imagine what that must feel like. I guess that Sun has an even more bizarre experience looming upon her on the island.
Wow! Thanks for sharing about that situation.
I have had personal experience with infertility. I have two sons, born twelve years apart, but according to doctors I should not have been able to conceive any. They are both my miracle babies.
I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, or pcos. In my case, it means that my ovaries make rocks, not eggs. You can see how that might affect fertility!
It was totally amazing that I had my first son. And we didn't find out about my condition until I had trouble conceiving again. Long story short, after much prayer, visits to doctors (OB/Gyn,
Fertility specialists), tears and questions, I came to a place of acceptance that I was only to have one child. My attitude became "I'll take whatever God gives me."
And then God laughed.
And Peter was conceived. We named him Peter because God said "From these stones God can raise up children for himself"(Matthew 3:9) The greek word for rock is Petros (Peter)!
A month (28 days) after Peter was born I turned 40.
Does God have a sense of humor. I'm living proof!
That's a great story Amused! And it's amazing what God can to with and for us, once we give it up to Him. :-)
My experience was one of the reasons that I find Juliet so strange as a fertility specialist. I admit I have not had as much experience as others, but the ones I know are not only reproductive endocrinologists but surgeons as well. Not spinal surgeons, but they do all sorts of surgery for endometriosis and fibroids and stuff. Real surgery. I find Juliet very inept as a doctor. Which makes her unbelievable as a fertility doctor.
Wouldn't she have to be a full MD before declaring a specialty? Even if she were just going into research, wouldn't her credentials have to include being a full MD?
Unless she was only conducting fertility research on animals, not humans. What she did with her sister was not sanctioned, oh boy would she have been in trouble if anyone found out. Maybe that is the explanation for her inadequacy as a doctor.
Did I just answer my own question? LOL
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